Nope, No Thank You, Never again.

So, on this week of free classes at TruHarmony, I tried one more time to schedule my favorite, peaceful wonderful hot yoga class. That one was full. No Vinyasa Flow for me. But hey, there were other options. 

For instance there was this “Yoga Sculpt Boot Camp” and only 8 people had signed up for that one.

These are the things that should have tipped me off:

-       Sculpt

-       “Boot camp”

-       The fact that only 8 people had signed up for this class even though this yoga studio is extremely popular and I live in a major city.  (later more people ended up coming, so it was a full class, but a mere 16 hours before the class only 8 people thought it was a good idea- so really I think the majority of the class was filled with people who had not though it out thoroughly. I relate, I clearly did not think about it.)

But nooooooooo. 

I figured the hot serene environment would make everything ok. I figured that anything that happened in that happy hot tropical oasis would be wonderful and soothing.

For three minutes I was right.

I lay back on my mat. I breathed in the hot air. I thought about aligning my body and what Zen means.

Then the lights flipped on. The top 40 club music started blasting and the instructor started yelling instructions.

Suddenly, we were jumping. Literally jumping. 

And there was yelling… I think it was supposed to motivate me. It reminded me of law school. Absolutely every person in that room looked miserable and worse, I could see them because instead of gazing out over the city scape, we were looking at our sorry sweaty selves in a full length mirror. 

I knew it was really bad when the MMA fighter had to take a break. I’m sorry, but if a guy can work out 6 hours a day and take kicks to the face and this makes him miserable, I am willing to just chalk this up to a terrible terrible mistake.

This class seemed like a horrible combo between:

-       Ballet- the whole workout happens while staring at yourself in the mirror

-       High School Gym Class- seriously, the jumping and high knee running in place. No thanks.

-       Bikram Yoga- in my opinion the unpleasant version of hot yoga.

-       Running- just because that also makes my body hurt. 

-       Beach Body Bootcamp- a misguided attempt to get fit. I took this class in college and decided to drop it. I had to go talk to my adviser because dropping this class was like dropping a real class.

No joke, halfway through the class, I literally thought “what fresh hell is this?”

Conclusion:

I will never ever ever take this class again.